(Just for fun . . . You KNOW I had to write this one!)
The GTL lifestyle, “Gym, Tan, Laundry” – Let us take a peek into one of the most high level, cutting edge, scientifically developed muscle building and extreme fat loss programs that are performed by the guys on the show –
Barbell Bench Press – 3 sets x10 reps
Machine Chest Press – 3 sets x 10 reps
DB Chest Press – 3 sets x 10 reps
Barbell Bicep Curls – 3 sets x 20 reps
Machine Bicep Curls – 3 sets x 20 reps
Crunches – 20 sets x 1000 reps (Different variations, because you know, you have to “confuse” the muscle.)
*** During the 3 minute rest period after each set – Stand and practice single eyebrow raises (Both left AND right eyebrows you know, for symmetry), pout lips for time and admiringly flex in the mirror.
Tuesday: Back and Tris, more crunches
Seated Row – 3×10
Machine Row – 3×10
Pullups – 1×5 (I could really bang out 20 if I wanted to, just don’t want to show off . . . )
Tricep Machine (All of them) – 3×10
Ab Machines (Yes, all of them . . . because you know, you have to “confuse” the muscle.) – 3×20
***During rest periods, compare who has a better six pack and deeply discuss discuss any supplements that begin with an “X”.
Wednesday: Legs . . . no, no, not today! This should be a rest day instead (legs are hard!). Proceed to tanning salon instead . . . Will do crunches at home.
Thursday: Legs – (Look at the Squat Rack, observe Joey banging out heavy deadlifts, figure he is only hurting his back then opt for high reps on the leg press.)
Leg Press 5×20
Leg Extension 3×10
Leg Curl 3×10
(See Joey passed out on the floor from pushing the sled . . . “I told you he would hurt himself!”)
Follow with massive amounts of grunting and high fives.
Finish: 30 minutes on the Elliptical reading the closed captioning on Sportscenter, or the latest issue of OK! magazine.
Friday: Bench Press and Curls (again!), Multiple sets of Inclined Ab Crunches while tossing the heaviest medicine ball the gym has . . . because variety is good and you have to “confuse” the muscle.
Finish strong with 20 rounds of Fist Pump Intervals to anything by DJ Tiesto or Jonathan Peters.
Go home, and get ready for the club! T-shirt time baby!!!!