50 Shades of J

The 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon has swept the world. It has left women and men throughout the globe with steamy bedroom windows, hot sweaty bodies, and certain physical needs to be fulfilled. I admit it, I read the book too, my inner testosterone driven being cringed at the thought of it at first. As the story unfolded I wish I had just fast-forwarded to the good parts like I usually do with stories like this. However, my man card was not totally lost, I highlighted the most salient points to remember for future endeavors. Still, I held my own and read through it all. Needless to say it was an interesting read and there were definitely some parts that raised at least an eyebrow!

SPOILER ALERT – Obviously Im not giving the story away but will mention a certain part of it that had me wondering, and left me hanging in suspense. The billionaire main character Christian Grey has the woman, Anastasia Steele sign a contract.  Part of the contract states that she has to see a trainer four days a week and has to train to keep up her stamina in order to engage in vigorous bedroom activities.  What is missing from the entire series is that there is never an actual gym training scene that explains how a trainer or coach would go about even training someone for such a request!


For those of you that have read the book, we all know that Christian Grey is probably not in the gym banging out deadlifts and pullups like real men do. He is most likely on the elliptical for 45 minutes breaking a sweat and then proceeds to hit the Nautilus circuit while answering emails on his blackberry between sets. I’m just saying, he probably should get some training himself!

What follows is the missing part of the story – Christian Grey does hire her a trainer. After coming across one of my popular articles, he calls me to work with his girlfriend or whatever she is to him. The question is, what kind of training program do you give her looking at his requests? What does she need to build stamina to last, strength to hold up her own bodyweight, and flexibility for  . . . well you know . . .



. . . Rrrrringgg .  . . Rrrriiinnnggg . . . .


“Hello, this is Joey, how can I help you?”

“Coach Joey, this is Christian Grey, I have a client for you.”

“Okay, tell me about her. What she is looking to do?”

“Well she just graduated college as an English Major, and is always reading books. She has spent the last 4 years in the library. Never worked out a day in her life. I put her in your hands to make her the best possible physical specimen you can. She must look good for my needs, and she needs to build up her stamina. I want her to train with you 4 days a week, you must report to me on her progress. She must start seeing results within the first month before her trial period with me is over. “

“Trial period?”

“Forget I said that, you heard nothing.”

“Okay, when can she come in?”

“She is already outside.”


Wow, this guy is bossy! I look out the gym window to see a brand new Audi parked right outside. The young woman steps out and I think to myself “Good luck to her dealing with a control freak!”

“Hello, my name is Anastasia, I believe you recieved a call about me?”

“Yes I did.”  . . .Why doesnt she look me in the eye?  “Let me tell you, this is not going to be easy, there is a lot of hard work to do to produce results in that short a time. I might have to crack my whip. Are you ready to get started?”


“Yes Sir.”


Oh, I am going to enjoy this!



50 Shades of J Training Program

This is a 4-week, 4-day a week training program designed to build a solid sexy body, improve posture and build serious stamina (aka power to endure) for any “activity”.

Program is 4 days a week, to be completed – Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday

Start each day with a dynamic warm-up including exercises like – Jumping Jacks, Cat/Camel, Birddogs, Spider Lunges, Etc.


Day 1::: Focus – Total Body Strength and Felixiblity

1A   Goblet Squat                             3-5 Sets x 10 Reps

1B   Front Plank Walk up               3-5 Sets x 5 Reps ea

2A  Seated Row                                 3-5 Sets x 10 Reps

2B  Walking Lunge                            3-5 Sets x 5 Reps ea

2C   Side Plank                                   3-5 Sets x 20sec ea

Flexibility:::  Downward Dog Stretch, Hip Flexor Stretch, Glute Stretch  – 2 rounds through, 30sec hold for ea


Day 2 ::: Focus – Stamina Conditioning

Jump Rope — 5-8 Rounds x 30-90sec

Bike —  5-8 Mile Hill Interval Ride – Moderate level, you must beat the time it took you to ride 5-8 miles every week.

If weather is nice, we go outside for some work on the track instead. This will cover more bases than what we can do in the gym.


Day 3::: Focus – Total Body Strength

1A          Step Up                            3-5 Sets x 10 Reps

1B           DB Military Press          3-5 Sets x 10 Reps

1C           Inverted Row                 3-5 Sets x 10 Reps

2A           Pushup                             3-5 Sets x 10 Reps

2B           Lying Leg Raise              3-5 Sets x 10 Reps


Finish with 5-8 Mile Bike Ride OR Jump Rope


Day 4::: Focus – Stamina and Flexibility

1A           Burpee                                       5 x  30s x 30s rest

1B           Medicine Ball Slam               5 x 30s x 30s rest

1C           Battling Ropes                        5 x 30s x 30s rest

1D           Side Crawl                               5  x 30s x 30s rest


Flexibility::: Cobra Stretch, Hip Flexor, Glute Stretch 2-3 Rounds x 30s ea




Within 4 weeks the results will show. Just make sure you put the work in.



Stay strong, stay sexy,



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